Incredible works of time-wastery

My friend Joelle held a short IM monologue in which every sentence accidentally began with an I. This got me thinking that she had tried to start writing an acrostic, but had been seized by the stutters as soon as she began.

I guess that's about as far as I can go to explain where the last twenty minutes went.

I-crostic

I started to write an acrostic,

Intending it to be fant-ostic.

Intricate secrets I would hide there,

Initials leading to wisdom’s lair.

Indeed, the very idea thrilled -

In such clever guise, my thoughts cradled.

Injurious to public morals?

Into the deep I cast such quarrels!

Interring my fear six feet below,

Impetuously I began – O!

Instead of wit so scintillating,

Ire alone I found a-waiting.

Impish beast, Fate! Why mention butter?

If only I could lose this stutter!